The Top 104 Worst Cliches

So I bought this magazine at the bookstore that had the top 104 Worst Cliches. I thought it was worth a read so I opened to the page in the magazine and 5 minutes later and both Mom and I were cracking up laughing. Here are the ones that cracked me up....

(I had to change a bit of the text for the young people that might be reading this.....)

• Any machine, sporting equipment, animal, or human that defies gravity.
• Any description of vomit.
• Any car that throws a spray of gravel into the air as it exits a driveway
• Anything that fills the air, especially silence, anticipation or....gravel.
• Any bright, spunky heroine who is frustrated by dumb boyfriends and prevails...until, one day, she has to be rescued by her father, brother, ex-boyfriend, husband, ex-husband, grandfather or witty gay friend...who's still a bit of a jerk but who is basically a good guy and probably ought to be given another chance anyhow because, as we all know, there just aren't that many great guys out there in the first place.
• Exclamation marks!-aren't they so cute?! and the show you know how to express your emotions!! Which means they're just right for every scene!!!
  

And finally ... the A-1, worst, most pathetic creative writing cliche ever:

(Sorry Russetstorm)

• Personification! of any breeze, storm, body of water, cloud, fog, building, mountain, mist, cloud, swamp, bar, tree, flower, flack, fish, portrait, planet, star, farm animal, city, hamlet, time of day, room, weapon, idem of clothing, food, forest animal or Grecian urn. Such as: The despairing clouds wept tears that splattered my soul with despair. Or: The pursuing wind stopped in its tracks. like a tracker suddenly suspicious of being tracked. Give it a *Peep!* rest!

Or my Mom's

The majestic corn stalks stood
shoulder to shoulder with their "ears" drawn ready to ward off the impending
storm. -Mom or The-Fix-It-Artist

It was too good to pass up!

Brightfrost

This is an except from the article "104 Worst Creative-Writing Cliches", and is rightfully belongs to Randy F. Nelson and "The Writer The Essential Resource For Writers Since 1887". I am just a peaceful nobody who liked parts of the article and put it up for the amusement of others (who are somebodies (like you))

(How is the name "Runningwind"?)